excess of personality

Sam - 22 - WI - ΚΔ

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Hi. I posted that poster from New College about consent and you made a comment says that "S.A.M. travel in packs and assign a mother hen". I was wondering if you could elaborate on that for me? In particular the mother hen part. Thanks so much.

The comment being discussed

(as a note, the ‘you’ isnt directed at you but a to general you out there reading this)

S.A.M.s are Sexually Aggressive Males and exhibit behaviors that are warning signs such as excessive drinking, sexist jokes, using terms to talk about sex that are violent - bang, screw, nail - and especially physical violence. A guy who stands alone at a party or who is constantly trying to pull his conversation partner away from the group or who makes a point to hone in on the drunkest girls is a S.A.M. All of these behaviors should send up red-flags. They don’t mean that he is going to assault somebody, just that it’t more likely that a situation could arise.

I’d like to also point out that all of these behaviors can apply to females, too. 

Traveling in packs is a way to make sure you and your friends look out for each other. Go to a party together, leave a party together. Unless your entire group feels that one of your friends leaving with somebody is a safe decision, they don’t go. Guys and girls should always have other people that they check with before making decisions when alcohol is involved

The mother hen/papa duck is a person within a group who agrees to not drink or drink very little during a night out. S/he checks in with everybody once in a while to make sure they’re not drinking too much or acting in a way that could get them hurt or in trouble. The mother hen/papa duck is usually somebody who doesn’t drink or rarely drinks but still wants to go out, but sometimes a group of friends agrees to have one person decide to take it easy for the night and then switch off . Remember though, even though your friend is staying sober, you need to police yourself. They’re out to have a good time, too. And also, not everybody who is staying sober wants to take care of drunks all night. Don’t assume that they’ll keep you out of trouble just because they’re not in the mood to drink. Discuss before going out what’s up.

I hope I didn’t sound too preachy. I went through rather rigorous training on sexual assault prevention to be an Orientation Leader and we had to watch like 3 hours worth of videos. The mother hen/papa duck thing wasn’t technically in those videos but a version of it was - they had some really strict things about what the ‘Sober Advisor’ was supposed to do, I think it was named that. I toned it down so the person could actually have fun and gave it a cute name.

March 19, 2012 with 2 notes
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